Georgia sheriff’s Facebook post: Eclipse will be ‘end of life on this planet as we know it’

OCONEE COUNTY, Ga. (WSAV) — An Oconee County Sheriff’s Office has caught the eye of several news outlets this week with one of their humorous Facebook posts about the local reaction to the upcoming solar eclipse. The post from Aug. 3 on the official page of the Oconee County Georgia Sheriff’s Office reads:

“Sheriff Scott Berry announces that on Monday, August 21, at about the time your kids are riding home from school on the bus that there will be a solar eclipse of the sun as celestial forces no one understands will blot out the sun. It is very likely this is the end of life on this planet as we know it.

As your Sheriff I expect each of you to begin panicking today. There is no need to wait til Sunday night to buy bread and milk. The shelves will be empty already as vast hordes descend on grocery stores. If you wait, the only thing left will be potted meat and knock off brand cereal with such names as ‘RaisinO’s’ and ‘CheeriBran’

Don’t look at the eclipse, unless of course you live in the backwoods of Tennessee. In that case no one will hear you scream as you stumble blindly into a moonshine still or a bear trap. Millions of Americans are blinded every week by staring directly into the sun, eclipse or not. Don’t do it.

Your sunglasses will not protect you from certain death if you look at the sun. However, for a mere $29.99 (plus $9.00 shipping and handling) you can order ‘stare directly at the sun wearing these’ glasses from NASA and the Home Shopping Network.

Pregnant women should smoke and drink liquor during the eclipse. This will prevent radioactive waves from making your ankles swell and being grouchy most of the time. Meanwhile, your other children will be on the school bus wondering why it got dark so early. An afternoon snack of potted meat will encourage then to ignore the end of the world as we know it.

Leading scientists tell us that post eclipse the only two things they expect to survive are cockroaches and Facebook. Wait, is that one thing or two things????”

Some of the followers of the Facebook page enjoyed the joke and posted comments.

Richard wrote, “Greetings from Canada! Just wanted to say hi and thank your social media personnel for the hilarious posts at times! As a Canadian who has worked alongside our RCMP, I understand that policing is a stressful job (along with many other adjectives!) and love reading through your posts to re-read the hilarious ones mixed amongst the serious ones! Good work to all members of your force and please stay safe! Should I ever be travelling through your area (at a legal rate of speed of course) I hope to shake the hand of any deputy I meet and wish him or her safe travels! All the best to all of you and keep smiling!”

Randall posted, “Keep up the great work, absolutely love your sense of humor and your posts! #BacktheBlue

But while many people found the post enjoyable, not everyone shares the sheriff’s humor.

Quentin posts: “What an unprofessional Sheriff. In your lame attempt at humor, you embarrassed law enforcement and show a lack of leadership. While humor can be a leadership asset, you FAILED! Please don’t quit your day job. I pray you are a better professional law enforcement leader than a comedian. Geez, really, your the elected Sheriff???”

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